GRRL SCOUTS // A drug-fueled action comedy

GRRL SCOUTS // A drug-fueled action comedy

Three badass bitches who run the streets we got kingpin status and tons of treats we them girls, girls, girls, girls, girls girls, girls, girls, girls, girls Haters gonna hate, cuz we so fly Nah we don’t really care, cuz we so high We them girls, girls, girls, girls, girls girls, girls, girls, girls, girls We them girls Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls girls, girls, girls, girls, girls We them girls [grunt] It must be our lucky day, we got ourselves a Grrl Scout. Been trying to peg something on you dicks for a long time. Hey, you got any of those, uh, Caramel Smiles? or Slim Mints in here? They’re not selling cookies, they’re selling DRUGS. Yeah, I know, I was making a joke. I was just tagging, can’t you let me go with like a slap on the wrist or something? You hear that Freitas? She wants a slap on the wrist. Yeah…ah… well it is a nice day I’m thinking I could give her a little bit
more than just a slap on the wrist Come on! Ahhh! [dumpster slam] Hey!!! Hey, where have you two been? Oh, you know, we just went to the, uh- store- The shopping store. It’s new. Look at these cute new bracelets Rita got! So tell us about your day! Well, while you guys were out shopping…without me… I was on the streets making this beautiful stack of cash money! Huh. Gwen thinks that she’s the only one that was on fire today. Blagow!! I was racking up clients left and right Oh. Yeah. I made a bunch of money today too, yayyy! If we keep going like this, we’re gonna
be running this town. Ladies, I think we’re becoming the badass kingpin bitches we was born to be! Rita, the pipe please. Ooooh, she’s gonna smoke with us! Aw yeah boi! I’mma get some bagel bites up in this bitch! Wait…. Do you have any… Shit. We sold all the weed, didn’t we. Fuck! Where is everyone? Well, we could always call Eli. Ew, ugh, no. What’s wrong with Eli? You know…he’s just…kinda… Waaazuupp! Hey Eli! Wow…it’s so good to see you guys! Honestly, I didn’t think you’d make it this long
but I’m so happy you’re alive! Awesome. Hungry? No thanks. Cool. Well, as you can see I have decked out mi
casa, getting ready for Y2K you guys know it’s going to be the end of the world, right? Yeah, yeah that’s that’s super cool. We’re
actually just- If we could just get some drugs, dude Yes! Yes, I love drugs, come on over here. Have a seat. Ahem, ladies and gentlemen of the jury it is now that time of the evening where
introduce to you my newest batch Read it and weep. I’m very proud of it, I’m a proud papi. How much? Due to recent events, I have had to raise
my prices a little So, unforuntately, it’s gonna be $600
for this. We’re not paying $600 for that. Are you HIGH? that a serious question? Come on Eli, we’re your favorites! Yeah, our other guys don’t charge us half as much. Ha, that is very funny. Like there’s still dealers around, I get it. Wait, what? Oh no you guys didn’t know. Awww you probably thought you were doing so well,
aww Grrl Scouts! breakin my heart! Seriously though. All over town, dealers have been vanishing left and
right Snatched right up. So I decided to go on the hypernet, do some digging of my own Do you know what I found? NOTHING. That’s how you know they’re trying to cover this shit up. Oookay umm It’s been super fun taking a trip through crazytown but I think we’re just gonna go- [blaze it w/ ur grrls] So…do you think we should just leave town or something? What? No. No. We are so close to running shit. I’m pretty sure whoever has the portal
powers is running shit. Guys. I have a plan. First, we take some of this X I borrowed from Eli’s place. Then, we get super stoned. Go to Lucifer’s pizza, get an extra large ultimeat pizza all while rolling our faces off. That’s it? Well, yeah. [POUNDING KNOCKS] Police! Open up! Just a minute! Freeze! Guess who’s back bitches? You ain’t gettin’ away this time. Wait, do you know these guys? McGOWAN: Oh, they know us all right. This one committed a- [CHOP] AGHHH!! Jesus Christ Daphne! Ahh shit! You guys, look! You guys are fuckin’ robots?! Yeah, we’re fuckin’ robots. And you’re gonna regret that! Wait a minute- I mean- Have we been robots the whole time? I-I’ve got a family! God dammit, Freitas, we’ve been over this! Yes! Ugh! Fuck! Resistance is futile. You belong to Zeph now. Nice. Rita!! Seriously, dude? Like, would it kill you to just, you know I dunno, get our backs every once in a while? Man, like right now? I knew it. The fuckin’ Illuminati. Well then, why don’t we pay these Illuminati shitdicks a visit. Show ’em why you don’t fuck with the Grrl Scouts. Or! We could just move somewhere they
don’t have a cult sending robots after us! Even if we can defeat these guys, how the
hell are we supposed to find them? [LIGHTNING STRIKE] [HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKING METAL] How did we never notice that before? Seriously. Okay. So, that doesn’t mean we can just burst in there guns blazing or anythi- BAHHHHH!!! Okay, this isn’t what I expected. [CLUCKING] Grrl Scouts! Wazzup! Dude! We thought you were dead! No, I’m okay! Isn’t Zeph the greatest?! This party’s off the chain, baby! I LOVE YOU ZEPH!! WOO!! See, guys? He’s totally cool. No need for any epic showdown or anything Let’s just go home. Rita! We can’t just leave him Look at him, He was obviously brainwashed by that Zeph asshole. [RECORD SCRATCH] Eyyyy It’s the Grrl Scouts. With the cookie boxes and shit, right? Yo, I’mma big fan. Y’all want some refreshments? Cut the shit man. We know you ganked our suppliers And sent those Robocops- those police robots- Just say Robocops, it’s fine. So, what’s the deal? Why are you fucking up our shit? Whooa… I ain’t tryin’ to fuck with you, I’m tryin’ to do business with you baby birds. You see, It took a little… “convincing”… but I got all your dealer homies on deck, playa! Yeah! I’m on deck! I’m on deck with Zeph! Woooo!! Look at this spooky ass shit! This town is my bitch now. If you decide to roll with me, I’ll let you run things by my side. Mmmmm…. No thanks. We sell drugs so we don’t have to work for dickholes like you. Pff. (imitating Gwen) “No thanks!” That’s cute. You still think this is an option, don’t you? You can’t say no to us. WE’RE THE ILLUMI-FUCKIN-NATI! HUAH! [SHIT GETS INTENSE] Come on, come and get it! [GASP] YOU BITCHES THINK THIS ILLUMINATI SHIT IS A GAME? Hahahaha… Hey! Hey… What is this place? Am I dead? You’ve awakened your inner chi. That’s all that matters now. Oh. Okay. Celestial Dophin: Sooo….yeah! Do I… I mean… What do I do? I don’t know! I’m a dolphin! [CHILDLIKE LAUGHTER] Ahh…back for more, baby? She’s beginning to believe. No mortal can ever deafea- [DOLPHIN LAUGHTER] Namaste. So wait- You weren’t brainwashed like, at all. Oh no yeah I was just rolling balls. Zeph’s actually a pretty chill dude. Sorry. WAS a chill dude. Rita: No, Eli he technically he just killed me that’s like, the opposite of chill Well, agree to disagree. I lost a friend tonight. Hey, so.. Are you like… immortal now? Like, what exactly happened? Yeah, cuz you were like, so dead. Oh yeah you were extremely dead. Honestly dude… I don’t even know. Whoa. Well, whatever it was Thank you for saving our asses back there. Aww!! Okay, you need to teach me how to like, unlock my chi or whatever because I need to learn how to explode people. I would also like to enroll in the exploding people class. UNKNOWN FIGURE: The fools. We will let them think they’ve won for now. But upon the new millennium They shall truly know our power! Stephen. What is the status of project Y2K? I thought you’d never ask. This is gonna be fucking awesome. [FUCKING MSI]


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